Hi all... I miss the classes....+ Tony's comments
Hi Tony,
It is me Suad , I would like to thaks you for your instractions,It were very helpfull to me , I send my weekend trying to write down the Task 1 writing and here it is , I would like if you can have a look at it and tell me how is it?.
The charts illustrates (SVA) the number of Japanese tourists travelling a bourd (S) over a span (P) of ten years and the Australian (P) share of the tourists (P) market.
In 1985, about five million Japanese tourists strated (P) travelling abroud , when that number containued (S) increasing gradually till it reached around ten million in the year (of) 1990.Whereas no considerable changes were seen in the tourists' numbers between 1991-1993. When (WC) five million of them were recorded to travell (G/S) in the year 1995.
In describing the second chart, (as) we can see that Australia`s share of the market has grown dramatically in period of 1985-1995 to reach about 5% of the total Japanese tourits (S) , as this percentage rised (G) to be around 6% by the end of 1995.
In conclution (S) , if we compare the findings in both charts, we found that Australia has been directly affected (WC) by the frequancy of the tourists travelling from Japan. (toward it.)
A significant improvement, Suad! We are on the right track now!
Other students, take note of Suad's initiative in posting a corrected piece of writing on the weblog.
Tony
thanks again,
suad.
It is me Suad , I would like to thaks you for your instractions,It were very helpfull to me , I send my weekend trying to write down the Task 1 writing and here it is , I would like if you can have a look at it and tell me how is it?.
The charts illustrates (SVA) the number of Japanese tourists travelling a bourd (S) over a span (P) of ten years and the Australian (P) share of the tourists (P) market.
In 1985, about five million Japanese tourists strated (P) travelling abroud , when that number containued (S) increasing gradually till it reached around ten million in the year (of) 1990.Whereas no considerable changes were seen in the tourists' numbers between 1991-1993. When (WC) five million of them were recorded to travell (G/S) in the year 1995.
In describing the second chart, (as) we can see that Australia`s share of the market has grown dramatically in period of 1985-1995 to reach about 5% of the total Japanese tourits (S) , as this percentage rised (G) to be around 6% by the end of 1995.
In conclution (S) , if we compare the findings in both charts, we found that Australia has been directly affected (WC) by the frequancy of the tourists travelling from Japan. (toward it.)
A significant improvement, Suad! We are on the right track now!
Other students, take note of Suad's initiative in posting a corrected piece of writing on the weblog.
Tony
thanks again,
suad.
posted by Tony Beale at
8:58 PM
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